The Day Care Center is an essential cornerstone in a young child’s life. It is where they make their first friends, learn basic communication skills and live a life of innocence. I did not agree with the individual who wrote this article because their writing held no intimation of rage. If my child’s Day Care Center was being shut down with barely any notice, I would be livid. The thought of being put in that sort of situation infuriates me. I am not easily frustrated, however, when I read this article and heard how parents were blind-sided by the Day Care, I concluded that I disagree with the actions being taken. Not only do I feel empathy for the parents but also distress for the children involved. To make matters worse, the administrators are keeping quiet which is an act of foolishness that will only worsen matters. If I were an administrator I would be up-front and apologetic to the parents so as to diffuse any ill feelings toward the corporation. The author of this article should take a more enraged stance to inform their audience of the gravity of the situation. In addition, perhaps call the parents and administrators to discuss a solution to the problem to keep the Day Care Center. To give the article a more disgruntled tone, the author should have interviewed the parents involved and allowed them to share the story from their point of view. This Day Care will always be in all of the children’s hearts, which what truly matters, but it will never be the same. Although I hold no grudges against the author, I do believe that they should have shown more passion in their writing. Hopefully, I was not the only one that was infuriated after reading this article. In addition, I am hopeful that it has taught it’s other readers what it has taught me: to stand up for your convictions with the utmost passion to have your voice heard.
It sounds like you are trying to be proper throughout the article and have a higher authority. Your attacks were very well planned out. On a side note, you should break it into paragraphs to make it easier on the eye.
ReplyDeleteI agree that it should be broken up a bit more. But you sounded very proper and important.
ReplyDeleteI feel that you are trying to be smart. Not in a sassy way, but simply smart.
ReplyDeleteIn your article, you sound very eloquent and appropriate. You got your point across in a professional manner. I do agree with heather that breaking it into paragraphs is a good idea.
ReplyDeleteThe voice i spoke in was angry.
ReplyDeleteThe text is a bit small. Hard to read. The post itself is monolithically terrifying. It's this thick unapproachable block of text (as others have already pointed out).
ReplyDeleteRemember that entire class we spent on typography? That was about font size, spacing, white space, small paragraphs and what not, so try to put that into practice.
Even though you use words that are synonyms for anger -- livid, rage, etc -- I don't feel anger in the prose or in the arguments. In fact, the voice comes across as rather ho-hum.